The post election isolation

That.  Was.  Exhausting.

On all fronts, this election season has been completely exhausting.  There is so much to process.  Personal feelings.  The feelings of others.  Trying to wrap our heads around the present and the future.

It's been a while since I've blogged and a lot (and nothing at all) has happened.

But today, post election, I have found myself in a really weird spot as I am sure others of you are too.

Wanting to stay in and hide and wanting to get out and just be.

I can't help but think of all of my friends, family, and acquaintances who are feeling a gamut of emotions.  From relief to anxiety, loss to hope, and all of the emotions in between.  We all have our own lives, our own stories, victories, drama and fear.  And all of the 'normal' of life has been amplified today by the processing of the election.

I want to sit.  I want to cry.  Not because my candidate lost or won but because I know I am not the only one feeling this way.  I'm not the only one wanting to sit in the house and not go out in the world.  I am not the only one overwhelmed by all of the comments on social media.  And yet, all I want to do is to be with my friends and family.

Repeat Offender

Offender - A person or thing that offends, does something wrong, or causes problems.

Lets take a quick look.  Look at the life you want and at the life you have.  You see, some of you find yourselves in an endless cycle of the same thing, but to you they look different.  

"No, that relationship didn't work because of ....." or "Well, the boss at that job was...." or even "I just can't ever lose this weight because I haven't found the right way for me".  Let's take a second and try to find the real issue or the common denominator.  

It's you!  You are the repeat offender. 

The Long Transition

Transition: The process or period of changing from one state or condition to another.

Transition can be such a tricky subject.  Some go into this process of change very consciously and others...not so much.  The way we view our lives has great impact on where we are going, how we get there, and who has control of it all along. 

Take for example the "go getter".  This person takes responsibility for her life.  She is constantly aware or seeking awareness of the state she is in.  She seeks to better herself and her circumstances based on her conscious knowledge of where she is and where she wants to be.  We envy this girl. We look at her and want to be more like her.

Save Yourself

Sunday night at 2am I woke up and had this thought.  

YOU are WORTH saving.  SAVE YOURSELF.

Over the past few weeks I have encountered several people, in different situations who are simply waiting.  And wishing.  And hoping that if something..whatever that is..just happens that life will be different.

So when I woke up with this thought I knew that it was absolutely profound and a message that you needed to hear.

I see you.  I see you longing for so much.

In a Funk

Let's get real, you know, because that's what we do here.  

Life sometimes is just plain funky.  You're just in a mood.  And dang it if it's not hard to shake that crap off.

This is not one of those blue skies at the end sort of posts.  You know.  Where everything gets better and is worth it.  This is one of those, "ugh, just get it off me but let it be if it needs to be" post.  Clear right.

We all have our moments. Or days.  Or months.  Sometimes we are just in a funky mood.  I mean it can get thick.  Real thick.  Pounds won't budge.  Unforeseen circumstances keep coming.  Can't make that headway on the dream you are pursuing.  

Patterns

We all know that most of the patters we have were established a long time ago.  Well, some of us know that. But knowing comes on several different levels.  Here's how I describe them.

1. History  
2. Intellectual
3. Comedian
4. Transformation

History - This level of knowing is based on something that happened in the past. The "it doesn't affect me" sort of knowing.  A knows historically understands that it was an event or series of event that may have affected them at one point

Intellectual - This kind of knowing is best displayed in someone who has a sense that the things in your life can play a role in who you are now.  This understanding sometimes comes out in one on one conversations with close friends and family.

You're going to have to get uncomfortable

WHY, WHY, WHY????

Uncomfortable is the most uncomfortable thing I could do. I know right?!?!?!

So here will be a letter to myself..because I'm preaching to the choir here.

Shalaun,

You've got such great things ahead.  Your purpose is showing up more and more clearly the more you move forward.  You've also got so much on your plate.  You're a new stay at home/work from home mom.  You're kids are little.  You've moved back to your home town and are learning how to get everything in a routine.

Then there are ALL of the hundreds of things you want to do.  And the top things on the list are spending quality time with your family, blogging, exercise, and eating right. And you haven't even mentioned sleep.  You want more sleep.  Desperately.

Inspiration

You know that moment when you are admiring someone doing something really great?  You sit there in awe of them.  You think, wow!  That's amazing.  In that exact moment you are probably feeling really great.  You see their greatness and for a brief moment you believe that all things are possible.

This is how I get when I watch The Biggest Loser.  Yes. I said it.  I am obsessed.  I freaking love this show.  As someone who is clued in on emotion, and struggle, and belief it is one of the most amazing things to see people show themselves, both physically and emotionally.

They are searching.  They get to take the moment to kind of put a pause on life to try to figure out how they got to where they are.

Let's be honest.  Most of us don't want to do anything like that.

We don't want to show up and bear our all....I mean ALL, to a national audience.  And we definitely don't want to do that kind of intense work.

I used to enjoy the show as inspiration and entertainment.  And lucky for me it came on at a perfect time to eat dinner too.  There were countless times where I ate...you know...whatever I wanted....and watched people running their hearts out.  Still I was inspired, at least on the surface.

Things are hard

I've recently taken on a little bit of a new adventure that includes homeschooling my 13 year old cousin for a short time. Today we worked on algebra and I was able to witness a few things.

All the time we talk about the thoughts that we have and how they rule our feelings.  Not the other way around. 

From the very beginning of this journey, she let me know that she is not good at math.  (I happen to love math...and a challenge...so I knew this was a math made in heaven).

Think People!

Have you ever listened to yourself?  I mean really listened to all of the things you constantly say?

Don't have any idea what I'm talking about? Go here with me.

Think back to the last time you got really frustrated with someone. A fight, heated discussion, an irritation with a coworker. Remember how frustrated you were.  Then remember all of the things you were thinking.  All of the things you wish you would have said.  All of those thoughts running in your head.  The things you were telling yourself and listening to.

Actually being AWARE of the thoughts we produce, and hear, is where the magic is.

Well S#!%

Please please please tell me what you do when you are EXHAUSTED?

I mean it's been A WEEK so far and it's only Wednesday people.

So while I was doing the amazing daily task of cleaning up the kitchen tonight (yes, I really do try to clean it every night.  Don't judge me.  I just hate starting my day with a dirty kitchen)  

Anyway.

I stood there thinking about all of the things I would like to post about.  The blogs that I had already started typing a few days ago.

But what do you do when you are The Real Shalaun and you're exhausted and want to blog?

You know what?  You say "Well S#!%.  You're The Real Shalaun?  Then keep it real"

And so. Here I sit. 

You Don't Know

Have you ever sat around, listening to your friend, while they 
-beat themselves up
- sat hoping for someone to notice them
- wished for their life to be different
and just thought..."I wish you could see what I see"?

I wished you knew all of the things that I see in you on a daily basis.  That on some level I could communicate to you how exceptionally wonderful you are.

My friends.  This is for you.

I've seen you over the years.  All of you.  I've sat and listened to your hurts, your confusion, your dreams.  I've seen you doubt yourself, try to push through, or go unnoticed.. or so you believe.

Resolutions. Oh please...

Let's get our feet a little wet this year.  Let's decide and commit to change some things about ourselves. 

But how the heck are we going to do that? 

To be completely honest with you I am just not feeling it and I'm unsure where to even start. 

Usually at the beginning of each year I take a little time to think about my goals for the year.  Sometimes they are specific like reading a certain number of books and sometimes they are generic like healthy mind.  But this year I have been dragging my feet.

Change is hard

Yes.  I said it.

Change is hard.

And this coming from the girl who loves change! I mean I really do.  I love change.  Even down to rearranging furniture every 6 months.  Bring it on.  But this change?  

This change SUCKED!

Yes.  I said it.  Sucked! And you know what?  I can't even say that I'd do it all over again right now if I had to.

The honest truth is that this change was hard because it felt like everything changed.

My Peeps. My People.

I'm sending a big hello to all my PEEPS! (Yes, that's you). 

So Peeps.  

Let me explain.  

As I started this here little journey a few months back I noticed that a lot of other bloggers or writers that I gravitated towards have a name for their "group".  You know.  Those amazing people that they love and that love them back.  And so. I decided.  I have a wonderful group too!...And they need a name.  

Tribe.  Yes. That's a good option.  Sounds nice but lets be honest it may just be a little too, oh what's the word? Yeah, "too perfect" for me.  So I thought about it for a little bit and settled on Peeps.  

Missing you something terrible

I've been missing y'all something terrible. 

It's been an incredibly LONG few weeks. So many highs and lows. The blog will return next week. See you here in a few friends!