Let's get real, you know, because that's what we do here.
Life sometimes is just plain funky. You're just in a mood. And dang it if it's not hard to shake that crap off.
This is not one of those blue skies at the end sort of posts. You know. Where everything gets better and is worth it. This is one of those, "ugh, just get it off me but let it be if it needs to be" post. Clear right.
We all have our moments. Or days. Or months. Sometimes we are just in a funky mood. I mean it can get thick. Real thick. Pounds won't budge. Unforeseen circumstances keep coming. Can't make that headway on the dream you are pursuing.
We all know that most of the patters we have were established a long time ago. Well, some of us know that. But knowing comes on several different levels. Here's how I describe them.
1. History
2. Intellectual
3. Comedian
4. Transformation
History - This level of knowing is based on something that happened in the past. The "it doesn't affect me" sort of knowing. A knows historically understands that it was an event or series of event that may have affected them at one point
Intellectual - This kind of knowing is best displayed in someone who has a sense that the things in your life can play a role in who you are now. This understanding sometimes comes out in one on one conversations with close friends and family.
WHY, WHY, WHY????
Uncomfortable is the most uncomfortable thing I could do. I know right?!?!?!
So here will be a letter to myself..because I'm preaching to the choir here.
Shalaun,
You've got such great things ahead. Your purpose is showing up more and more clearly the more you move forward. You've also got so much on your plate. You're a new stay at home/work from home mom. You're kids are little. You've moved back to your home town and are learning how to get everything in a routine.
Then there are ALL of the hundreds of things you want to do. And the top things on the list are spending quality time with your family, blogging, exercise, and eating right. And you haven't even mentioned sleep. You want more sleep. Desperately.
You know that moment when you are admiring someone doing something really great? You sit there in awe of them. You think, wow! That's amazing. In that exact moment you are probably feeling really great. You see their greatness and for a brief moment you believe that all things are possible.
This is how I get when I watch The Biggest Loser. Yes. I said it. I am obsessed. I freaking love this show. As someone who is clued in on emotion, and struggle, and belief it is one of the most amazing things to see people show themselves, both physically and emotionally.
They are searching. They get to take the moment to kind of put a pause on life to try to figure out how they got to where they are.
Let's be honest. Most of us don't want to do anything like that.
We don't want to show up and bear our all....I mean ALL, to a national audience. And we definitely don't want to do that kind of intense work.
I used to enjoy the show as inspiration and entertainment. And lucky for me it came on at a perfect time to eat dinner too. There were countless times where I ate...you know...whatever I wanted....and watched people running their hearts out. Still I was inspired, at least on the surface.
I've recently taken on a little bit of a new adventure that includes homeschooling my 13 year old cousin for a short time. Today we worked on algebra and I was able to witness a few things.
All the time we talk about the thoughts that we have and how they rule our feelings. Not the other way around.
From the very beginning of this journey, she let me know that she is not good at math. (I happen to love math...and a challenge...so I knew this was a math made in heaven).
